


Followed you to foreign lands and hell

by smaragdbird



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Shaving, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 20:05:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17290523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: Written for Day 2: “state of grace” of the 12 days of CarnivalAfter they're rescued, Crozier helps Jopson shave because he knows how important a meticulous appearance is for Jopson's mental wellbeing





	Followed you to foreign lands and hell

“Sir, you don’t have to – “

As usual Crozier ignored Jopson’s protest. In the two weeks between John Rae more or less stumbling upon them and them reaching the safety of James Ross’ two ships, Jopson had run himself ragged to make sure everyone would make it and now he was paying the price. Others were sick as well – Crozier had actually overheard Le Vesconte snap at Fitzjames when he had tried to make light of his condition – but Jopson was the worst off of all the officers.

“I’m not doing anything you haven’t done for me”, Crozier reminded him mildly. Jopson was certainly a much easier patient than Crozier had been during the winter. Although he had a tendency to severely downplay him being unwell. Their surgeon on Terror during their journey to the Antarctic certainly hadn’t been impressed with how quickly Jopson had gone back to his duties despite the gash in his right leg.

“But you’re the captain and I am – “

“My lieutenant”, Crozier interrupted him firmly as he put the bowl down. He knew that Jopson’s fastidious nature meant that he hated looking so unkempt. And after everything Jopson had done for him, it was the least Crozier could do for him. 

He helped Jopson sit up first, making sure he had enough pillows in his back to keep him upright, before lathering the soap over his skin.

“I apologise in advance, my skills in this are lacking compared to yours.” He had picked today because they had a calm sea but he was nicking his own skin when Jopson never had.

“You don’t have to do this, sir. It can wait.”

“I know it makes you miserable, so it cannot”, Crozier replied. “You said yourself that turmoil on the inside must not show on the outside. And let me not get started on Fitzjames’ opinions about the presentability of an officer in his Majesty’s navy.”

Jopson glanced down, accepting defeat. 

Crozier realised his mistake when he put his fingers under Jopson’s chin to tilt his head up and keep him steady. This was too intimate when he had always been careful to keep some distance between him and Jopson. But it was too late to back out now.

Carefully he drew the blade across Jopson’s skin, watching for any sign of discomfort or blood while avoiding Jopson’s eyes, which he felt on him as he worked. Jopson had been watching him for years but something was changing tonight, some unspoken barrier between them breaking. 

Though if Crozier was being honest with himself, he had been chipping away at it for the past months from the moment he had desperately called Jopson’s first name from his sick bed.

Jopson yielded easily to Crozier’s touch, tilting or lifting his head at the mere hint of pressure. It was soothing to do this, calmness filling him as he listened to Jopson’s breath. 

He had never been blind to Jopson’s attractiveness; back in Antarctica Ross had even joked that Jopson was much more deserving of the title “most handsome man in the royal navy” than he; and he had always appreciated Jopson’s skills and discretion but something had changed between them in the last months. He wasn’t blind to Jopson’s devotion to him either and it was why Crozier felt so hesitant about their new intimacy. It was something that was easy to take advantage of.

There was a moment, when he moved to scrape the hairs from Jopson’s upper lip, that their eyes met and the look Jopson gave him, pupils blown so wide that his eyes seemed impossibly dark, sent a shiver down his spine and made his heart pound in his chest.

It was a relief to be finished, to be able to step back for a moment as he grabbed a towel to wipe the leftover soap from Jopson’s face.

“There, now you look every inch like an officer of the royal navy”, Crozier said, still without looking at him. The atmosphere between them felt so fragile that he wasn’t sure what would happen if he did.

Suddenly though he felt Jopson’s hand around his wrist, the grip frighteningly weak compared to what it used to be. “Thank you, sir.”

Crozier made the mistake of looking up and his whole world narrowed down to the hopeful look in Jopson’s eyes. “Thomas – “He didn’t even know what he was going to say, if he was going to voice hesitance or encouragement, but it didn’t matter because Jopson kissed him and Crozier surrendered without even a token resistance.

He didn’t need to see the open devotion in Jopson’s expression to taste it in the sweetness of his lips, feel it soak into his skin with every touch but as he softly, slowly deepened their kiss he knew that if he pulled back now, the naked adoration on his own face would not be any less. 

Eventually though they had to part but Jopson had never relinquished his grip on Crozier’s wrist so Crozier stayed where he was. He was about to apologise for his lapse in judgement when Jopson met his gaze straight on.

“I love you, sir. Don’t ever doubt that.”

His admission, so uncharacteristically frank, left Crozier speechless. Perhaps on some level he had already known that but to hear it said out loud was something else entirely.

“You are one of the bravest men I know but that makes you one of the most foolish as well.”

Jopson gave him a wry little smile. “I already followed you from one pole to the other. I’m not sure how much more foolish I can get.”

To be offered love like this, openly, unconditionally, was a gift Crozier had never expected. But he had also never learned to do things by half. His life was one of extremes and Jopson had already proven that he could weather these tempests.

Crozier reached out with his free hand and brushed a strand of Jopson’s hair behind his ear. “I have some experience in foolishness.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title is inspired by Neil Gaiman's "Sonnet"


End file.
